After an emotional morning, I turned the page in my journal to start anew, a new thought, idea, something. I grabbed my bible, searched my heart for what I needed then for probably the fifth time this week, Ephesians 1. Clearly, the Holy Spirit had more for me. I’ve never spoken the word in my own language like I did here, but I wanted to share what was revealed to me. Here is my interpretation:
I belong to Christ. GOD LOVES ME. God chose me. I am holy. I am without fault in His eyes. I am His, adopted into His family. Being in His family gives God great pleasure. God is kind. Serving the Lord brings me freedom and my sins are forgiven because of Jesus. He showers His kindness on me, He pours His widom and understanding on me like a flood. The Lord has strategized a plan and told me the secret; it is a plan based on Jesus which gives God pleasure. The secret? Everything will surrender to Jesus in the perfect time, both celestial and earthly, but what’s more is what’s in store for the adopted ones, we will not only receive all that belongs to God and all he has originally promised us, but we will be absolute in our kinship to him, as we are affirmed by the connection of his glory to us, his kids. And we aren’t His by default, but by request, hand-picked, selected as significant, from the start of time, knowing we would fail and in our flesh disspoint the Lord, but with certainly high hopes, he requested us. His strategy, from the start, was that we who began to put faith and trust in Jesus should respond to the Spirit through praise and honor, worshipping the one who deserve our esteem, our affections, and our attention. Now, you know, God is our rescuer, and that is salvation, that underground-railroad kind of freedom with red bloodspilled ribbons on the lanters of a household we dwell. He’s snuck us through and outwitted our nemisis, our original kinship to the flesh and all of its affiliations has been reassigned to a Father who heals the lashes, sees no division or rank, but is the co-signer of our souls with the mission stamped by Jesus, he ends our slavery to the master of this world and all his dry land. At the exact moment you decided to respond to Christ’s call, he crowned you with the most expensive jewels made by the most innovative creator to say you’re mine, gave you His seal, His signant ring, His last-name, His approval, His word that you belong to Him, and those jewels that affirmation, that kinship is confirmed and embodied by a third part of the trinity called the Holy Spirit, who literally finds his home within your spirit, calls your soul the Lord’s, and comforts you when you feel unworthy, reminding you about grace, about forgiveness, about who you belong to, nomatter what, nomatter what your past or present mistakes, short-comings, incompletedness, inadquecies, or boredom has caused you to do, the Holy Spirit guides you and teaches you new ways to live, new ways to think, and He waits for your questions that the world manipulates to be reasons for disbelief in the Holy One. The reassuring part about having the Holy Spirit, is that He is the fulfillment of God’s promised salvation, also, of God’s promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us, that riddle we always ponder and secretly wonder about how a being can be omni-present. What’s more is that in God’s fulfillment of His promise by giving us His Holy Spirit there is proof that He cares enough to follow through with His promises so that He can build trust with us. He understands our humanity and how difficult it is for us to trust anything without proof, which is why he is over the moon and pleased, actually declaring us to be righteous when we simply put belief in Him. Having the Holy Spirit with us represents the Father’s ability to always provide that which He has promised. The Holy Spirit also signifies how expensive we are to the Lord, how much thought, care, love, hope, and value He puts and has in us by literally purchasing our sins at the highest ransom the world and the universe could ever bid, that is, the price of His own son, His word, His joy, His own heart’s death, then again, proves His power by reviving that which sin kills, and creates life for not only one man with a kindship to the Father, but threads in us all the ability to be His, and His forever, by the relation of the omni-present Holy Spirit. We long to be right, we long to be enough, we know we are faulty, untrustworthy, and imperfect. God knows that, too, but sees an inkling of possibility for a relationship with us if maybe we choose to respond. He risks rejection from us, keeping a knocking hope that maybe one day we’d change our minds and choose to crack the door open a bit for maybe a conversation, maybe and introduction, maybe move a little past small talk and allow yourself the freedom of a heart ventilation and speak as you so easily can a stanger with some random hope that he’s listening and might have something helpful to exchange, maybe then a hand on your shoulder, to an opening desire to speak a little more often, to in fact learning there is water from this well, a babbling brook that speaks relatable timely truths to you right where you are, a friend, who listens, and speaks, counsels and consoles, that stranger you weren’t sure to let in, but you took a chance to befriend, and now you find a wealth of wisdom and a matching need of relationship between you— nomatter how much you say you’re fine alone, you spot that hole in you like you do in others who spoon-feed themselves tasty things that never quench the soul…that kind of life has now become a far-gone memory from this ocean of love before you as it washes you with waves of kindness, humor, joy, claps you into your next set of days, cheers you on through currents, and eases you back on to the warm sunlit shore for rest. You look at yourself in the water’s mirror and can recognize a face, your old tired eyes now reflect the vibrant life you recognized in the pools of pupils you met. Before, you were yours, a source of self, a soul that provides intentions, feelings, repetition, and spuratic dilapidated direction. Yet, a new source of peaceful navigation quiets your noisey seas, once tossed with highs and lows, fighing its own whirlpool of questions and cravings of serenity; a once typhoon-like being of cold meets warm until a gravity-defiant kind of love funnels up, and an overwhelming evaporation occurs with a slurp of your merky tries and get-bys, feelings of being inadequate and we’re bloated when we weigh-in because we’re buoys of hearts overloaded. Suddenly, a presence precipitates and washes the muck and with His promise of forever, and our trust of seeing Him here right now, he pulls us in. This is reason enough to give Him praise.